That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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