I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize