I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I want to fling myself into the sun
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