yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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