Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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