I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Come on in and take your pants off
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