I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
