Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
