Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
