lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
