And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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