I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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