Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im about as happy as oj after his trial
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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