I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
