Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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