Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
