so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
