Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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