Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
