i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
