I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
