What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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