First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize