nut hugger
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
