Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
