Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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