I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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