My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
