i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize