is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
