I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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