big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
