Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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