What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
