dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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