You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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