Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
