Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
