Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
