he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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