Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
