But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
