I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
