I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize