why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
