Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
