I'm jealous of your bromance
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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