I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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