i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I pour the whiskey from now on
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
