ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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