Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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