Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize