You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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