You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
