Sponge bath it is.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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