he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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