I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
