NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize