So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
