1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
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