He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
