why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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