Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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